Having communication problems doesn’t mean that we don’t have feelings!
Last night I had an interesting dream about someone I hadn’t thought about in a long, long time. In this dream, I was once again being antagonized by a boy I knew many years ago in my early teen years....
View ArticleVideo diary/blog (video 2) art as therapy
So here is the 2nd installment of my new video diary/blog series. This video talks about creativity, art and its therapeutic uses. I hope you enjoy the video and that it inspires you to indulge in some...
View ArticleBrutally Honest Writings from a Depressive State
Today I thought I’d share a few excerpts and snippets from journal entries written while I was in a deeply depressive state. Often, writing these thoughts and feelings out has been healing and maybe...
View ArticleWhy Stars Explode
Why Stars Explode Written By: Maranda Russell Feeling lonely tonight, wondering if the night sky knows how I feel – it seems like she would. All that emptiness, the vast space between each star,...
View ArticleFeeling Invisible
Any of you ever feel invisible? Most likely, you are human, so you have felt that way at some point in your life. Unfortunately, I feel that way a lot. I’m not sure if it is the bipolar, the autism,...
View ArticleVideo: Art Insecurity
I’ve been feeling a lot of art insecurity lately, so decided to make a video about it:
View ArticleYou’ll Regret It All
I recently came across the following quote by philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, and it really struck me as deeply true, at least for me. No matter what I choose to do or choose not to do in life, there...
View ArticleJust a Big, Black Hole
The last couple days have been rough. You ever felt like you were a giant black hole of emptiness and need that sucks the joy and positivity out of everyone and everything around you? If not, you are...
View ArticleAll Over the Place
Lately I’ve been all over the place emotionally. I’ve especially been struggling with feelings of rage (I even stabbed an inflatable black cat to death), panic, and dread. Often I find myself laying...
View ArticleRages and Paranoia
The past couple months I have been all over the place emotionally and mentally. I plan to go over all this with my psychiatrist when I see him later this month, but felt I would share here some of what...
View ArticleDoctor Visit and Bipolar Mood Swings
Today has been busy, although not all that fun. I had an appointment with my doctor today (my primary provider). I found out I have another ear infection, so I’m on yet another course of antibiotics....
View ArticleSlump Me Over and Leave Me to Die
This image from Pixabay pretty much illustrates exactly how I feel today. Just slump me over and leave me to die. I’m not sure which is worse today, my depression or my exhaustion…but I suppose they...
View ArticleLosing Blog Followers and Self-Doubt
It is hard for me to be emotionally vulnerable about things that hurt my feelings or make me feel worthless, but my #1 goal with this blog is total honesty, so I’m going to share what I’m struggling...
View ArticleGood Therapy Session Update, and Books for Emotional Healing
I had a really good therapy session today. We talked more about the symptoms I am currently experiencing which might be related to a mood disorder vs what might be related to PTSD and my past. On the...
View ArticleNew Original Art Drawings! Feeling Creative Again!
I’ve been feeling artistic and creative again lately, which is an awesome feeling. Honestly, when I don’t feel creative at all, I don’t feel like myself. That in itself can add to my depression and...
View ArticleLate Night, Can’t Sleep Thoughts
The following is a journal entry of random thoughts and feelings I wrote down one night when I couldn’t sleep. As you can probably tell, I wasn’t in the best mood when I wrote it: “Lately I’ve been...
View ArticleI Have Autism, and I Yearn to Feel I Belong
This may be a post that is hard for neurotypicals to relate to – I’m honestly not sure. But, as someone who has high-functioning autism (Aspergers), I find that I have always had a deep internal...
View ArticleThe Cold Commercialism of Society
I am often disheartened by the cold commercialism of society. As I watch the rise of the giant corporations and mega conglomerates, I feel like life in general is becoming less conducive to humanity...
View ArticleA Bipolar Self Image
Just like with my thoughts and feelings, my self image changes so wildly with my mood. A good example of this is my view of my looks and/or attractiveness. Most days I think I look average when I look...
View ArticleDoes Any of It Matter?
Do you ever wonder if it all matters? I sure do. I try to be positive most of the time when I think about the things I do and whether they make a difference, but when I get depressed, the voices of...
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